Creation's First Principle

During some of my psychotic episodes, I have managed to go right back to the very start. Often I have imagined myself to be the eternal force of creation, that I have been responsible for all the good parts of civilization. That my role throughout history had been to fight evil and to create a better society, then at some points I have gone right back to the very start of existence. But always there are other beings with me on this journey, normally close friends that I consider immortal along with me. The idea is usually of communication, 'first there was the word', I am able to become something because I am able to communicate with another part. One of these illusions, I was in solid blackness, then two white dots appeared, as I was communicating, from one white dot to the other. Because we had joined through communication we were able to move, and by moving we were able to start life and existence.

There have been other examples of the very beginning, atoms having conversations that depict there different personalities, or properties. Then there was the idea of cosmic sex starting stars and planets, always starting with two or more beings, and always me as the lead being. Maybe there is more to this than delusion, for a while I wanted to right about self-causation, that existence has the property of necessary existence. In other words, nothing but what exists could exist, a kind of determinism, that demonstrates every being as a self-caused necessity. But recently I've followed the duality argument, that substance is eternally separated, and that one extreme acts upon the other extreme, in, what I call, a dynamic relation. One cannot exist without the other, sometimes I think that if something is eternally hot and another eternally cold, then energy will forever cycle between the two.

What has always drawn my attention is the power struggle between experience and reason. Can we create an existence of pure reason? That everything has a logical necessity, every action follows laws that apply universally, would we still have individual beings? Wouldn't everything be universal and surely Perfect? Then there is experience, there seems so many dualities, or is that just our minds interpretation, that universal law and freedom do not mix well? Reason, or the first principle of creation, is that something cannot come from nothing, but if we are able to separate nothing, does it become something? These are not everyday questions, but eternal and individual truths are a part of everyday life. It seems to me, from my experience, that the creator is not perfect and also that energy is not eternal, now to my mind this suggests a separation in creation, that one being must act upon another to exist, generating a power struggle of every being.